Talkin' Ditch Weed

One September day a couple years ago
On a rural route in Ohio
Out of the corner of my eye
Something took me by surprise
It was tall and green
Nicely shaped, and quite illegal

Later that week in Wisconsin
Saw it again and I had to grin
Those serrated leaves from high school days
That put me in a purple haze
I was getting curious
I wonder what if…Nah…bad idea

Well, the spirit is strong but the flesh is weak
I couldn't help but to take a peek
I pulled the car over to the ditch I went
Toward that vision that was heaven sent
Looked over my shoulder, nobody's around
Oh what the hell…

Broke off a bud it took awhile
The fibers are tough but it made me smile
It smelt all right, kind of sweet
Hung it from my visor for about a week
I was patient, waiting for it to dry
It made a nice air freshener!

It finally dried out and I rolled it up
I sat right back and I took a puff
Oh it made me cough and it made me wheeze
Made me retch and it made me sneeze
God it tasted bad, I got a horrible headache
And stayed stone cold sober

Well I swore I'd never do that again
but it made me think so I asked a friend
how this stuff all came to be
and why it grows so prolifically
you mean ditch weed, he said
why the government put it there in the 1940's
encouraged the farmers to grow it
Hemp for the war effort!

Then I got interested in the history
Learned how important it was to the economy
of every nation that ever was
because of all the things that hemp does.
Makes the best paper, cheap renewable fuel,
the finest clothing, irreplaceable medicines,
the most nutritious food, building materials,
plastics, paints, and recreation!

Our founding fathers all planted weed
why Henry Ford even sewed the seed
He built a car from hemp and wheat
the chassis, fuel, paint and seats.
Why the first drafts of our Declaration of Independence
were written on paper made of hemp fiber
- And Betsy Ross's flag!

From the invent of the wheel
To the 1930's hemp was everywhere, it was no big deal
Hemp ain't never hurt no one, leave that to folks with guns
Mmm… and the tobacco and alcohol companies,
Munitions industries - which leads me to my next point

Right around nineteen thirty came growth in hemp technology
DuPont feared they'd lose all profits
and Timber companies all'd go bankrupt
Gee, that means have to stop cutting down the forests
and strip mining coal - what a shame!

Enter William Randolph Hearst
and his yellow journalism at it's worst
and Harry Anslinger's bigotry and lies
put refer madness in the publics eye
They created a smear campaign
that effectively sent knowledge of the uses of hemp
into the dark ages- until now

So here I state without exception
hemp can be the earths salvation
as the single source of renewable fuel
that would make the oil companies look like fools

You see, hemp is the only biomass source available
that is capable of making the United States 100%
energy-independent.

So come on people it's time to see
those laws are based on fallacies
Based on shortsightedness and greed,
deception and hypocrisy
But it doesn't have to stay that way -
we may be small, but we've got our votes
in our billfolds!

So we can vote and we can run
for local office when the days begun.
If this world all goes to hell
we'll have ourselves to blame as well.
Meanwhile, buy yourselves some nice hemp hand lotion,
a cool hemp suit, some hemp granola
and send some delicious no-THC hemp seed cookies
to your congressman!